Saturday, September 15, 2007

Back on the Couch

OK, so I fell into the August shrink-on-vacation thing. Sorry about that.

Hopefully it is not to late to answer "Anonymous'" question below:

I'm anonymous for this post, otherwise I'll get killed. My husband is sick, and he needs to see a doctor, but he has not seen anyone but a dentist, eye doc and dermatologist for over 30 years. He is having problems with balance, and it is so bad that I suspect he has had a small stroke recently, but I can't prove it.

He told me today that if I tell our children about his symptoms, he will leave me. Then he screamed that I was making him worse with my nagging him to go see a doctor.
I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to wash my hands of him - if he can't be bothered to care about himself - why should I worry about him? Another part wants to call the children and tell them, so maybe they can force him to see a doctor or go to the emergency room. One big problem is that he has no medical insurance. The other is that he is a scaredy-cat. His mom was deathly afraid of doctors and she did a good job of transferring that fear to him. What would you do?

Dear Anonymous,

I have a feeling your husband may have already had the stroke. I'm sorry, if that is the case.

If not, look at it this way: if you are ready to leave him over this, what do you have to lose by telling your children? He's threatening to leave you if you do, but you're ready to go if you don't.

Don't go through this by yourself. Tell your kids. Have an "intervention". Get him the help he needs.

Again, I apologize for the delay in answering. Had a lot to deal with in my own life but all is ok.

We have to stop now.