Thursday, June 28, 2007
I grew up with a Mother who constantly belittled me and my ideas. She never believed in me. She didn't support me. Now as an adult I find that I don't follow through with anything and I get very upset with my husband if he doesn't praise me for every harebrained idea that pops into my head. How do I begin to believe in myself and get the confidence to act on my plans?
One of the most valuable things I learned in therapy was that the Tom Wolfe quote, "Living Well is the Best Revenge" can work well when dealing with our crappy childhoods.
I found that as an adult I was still giving my parents too much power by allowing them to continue to control my behavior. As rebellious as I was as a teenager, here I stood...as an adult...saying and doing things as a result of how they treated me as a kid. I finally started to realize that the very best "revenge" would be to take control of my life and my relationships and TRY not to let those deep seeded insecurities ruin my adult life. They'd already screwed up the first 17 years of my life... I wasn't going to give them the rest.
As I told a friend once: "The bad news is that you had a shitty childhood. The good news is that it's over."